What does it mean to be authentic?
By Izzy Teng
As I glanced in the mirror, I found that the person looking back at me had become a stranger. I had become an impression of borrowed smiles and rehearsed gestures, eager to please everyone but myself. I was swimming in a sea of sameness, and I could barely pull myself out.
In a world overwhelmed with perfectly curated online personas and fierce cravings to be liked and accepted, authenticity is becoming increasingly elusive. Whether it’s on social media, in a group of friends, or even with our families, pressures of who we should be, what we should say and what we should think become hard to ignore. It’s easy to lose oneself in the noise of others’ expectations, sacrificing our genuine beliefs and values to fit in, but suppressing our true selves can only lead to a life without fulfillment or passion—a life where we become mere reflections of others, rather than true expressions of ourselves.
Authenticity isn’t about speaking what’s on your mind at any given moment. It’s not about intentionally separating yourself from the vast majority. Authenticity is about choosing your life and the way you live it. As humans, we are often subconsciously caught up in the performative nature of our actions; however, living authentically forces us to pause. In embracing who we are at our core, we learn to accept mistakes, grow with adversity and become the rawest versions of ourselves. The version of ourselves where we can walk away from a space that doesn’t make room for who we are. The version of ourselves that can sit in the discomfort of being different.
I vividly remember thinking of my friends’ approval before my own when buying a piece of clothing or making a comment in class. That confinement was suffocating: the understanding that my thoughts and opinions didn’t belong to me, that not being who they wanted me to be made me generally unwanted. Beginning to break that cycle has been difficult, but it becomes clearer every day. I’ve started to listen to my own voice when making decisions, rather than letting someone else infiltrate my mind. With each choice I make, I try to reclaim my freedom and break free from restraints that have kept me from being myself.
Unfortunately, I’ve learned that being authentic to who I am can become lonely. The reality is that each person is different, so if I’m choosing to fully embrace my authentic self, I can’t expect everyone else to hop on board with me. Not everyone is going to understand my quirks or hobbies, and not everyone will align with my morals and values. But that’s okay: that’s the process. As undoubtedly scary as that is, it’s also so freeing.
I’ve grown into a version of myself that has previously felt so overshadowed. Now, I try to spend more time doing things that bring me quiet joys. Maybe that’s staying in, or maybe that’s going out to a party. Maybe that’s going out with friends, or maybe it’s just hanging out with my mom. I can’t expect myself to present as the picture-perfect person my head sometimes begs me to be, but I can promise to listen to my heart. I don’t need to know who I am just yet. I’m still learning and growing, but the more I begin to accept that, the easier it is to find peace in where I’m at.
Our world is crowded with trends and expectations to the point where it can make it hard to see ourselves clearly. But in the moments where we take a step back, we can begin to return to ourselves. So take a step back; not to stand out in the crowd but to stand firmly in who you are. In the end, nobody can live for us, so live for yourself.
